


Ma Fleur Rouge

by dupusdiingus



Category: Team Fortress 2
Genre: Drama & Romance, Eventual Romance, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, My First AO3 Post, My First Work in This Fandom, Self-Insert, Slow Build, Slow Burn, ill try my best to update, please bear with me, this is my first tf2 fic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-17
Updated: 2020-10-17
Packaged: 2021-03-05 05:01:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 15,158
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25308664
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dupusdiingus/pseuds/dupusdiingus
Summary: Agreeing to work for Mann Co. was one of the best decisions that you’ve made.Sure, it was dirty work, but it was worth it from all the money you would be earning.. And the friendships you would be making.A certain Frenchman especially making it worth your while.
Relationships: RED Spy/You, Spy (Team Fortress 2)/You
Comments: 26
Kudos: 34





	1. Comfortable Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!! This is my first tf2 fic and first time posting on ao3, but certainly not my first fic in general! I’ve written many stories, but usually I wouldn’t have enough motivation to finish them. Im determined to try and make as many chapters as I can! If you want to hear me ramble about tf2 and my experience with that beautiful game, I’ll save my fangirling till the end of this chapter to spare your poor soul

“Spy?”   
  
“ _Spy?_ ”  
  
I called for the man in question, roaming the empty halls of the RED base in search of my suited friend. It was late, but I was hoping to find him. Ever since I had joined the RED team, maybe half a year ago, me and Spy had grown very close as friends. Granted, I grew close with everyone on the team, but Spy stuck out to me. Maybe it was his eyes, or his wittiness, but I started growing very fond of his company. He was intriguing and I had never met anyone like him before. I was incredibly fond of his French demeanor, and I often found myself gravitating towards him in group conversations, just to hear him speak. Sometimes I was barely listening, only paying attention to his body language or how he would take a drag from his cigarette between sentences, which then I mentally scolded myself for because the words that would come out of his mouth were just as amazing. I never got the vibe that he didn’t enjoy my company, in fact, oftentimes he would catch me when I was alone and struck up a conversation, and many times I found myself doing the same.  
  
“Spy! Get your ass out here! I’ve been calling you for God knows how long!” I said, raising my voice in one last attempt to find. I couldn’t help but smile at the situation. If I can’t find him, that means he’s doing his job really well. I had wondered into the kitchen and stopped to gather my thoughts on where the hell he could be.  
Not too long ago everyone had started to disperse from the kitchen after supper, saying their good nights and farewells. He couldn’t have just vanished.  
Actually, he totally could have, but that’s not the point. I was hoping to catch him before he managed to slink off, my initial plan was to make a B-line to him, but Scout pulled me away and out of the room before I could get to Spy. He started asking me advice on girls and I couldn’t help but tease him here and there about Ms. Pauling. After a few minutes, Scout seemed satisfied with my advice and walked off, repeating to himself what I told him. I smiled as I watched him leave, Scout had always been a pleasure to be around. He could be annoying at times, but he was like a little brother to me.  
  
When I got back, Medic and Engineer were still sitting at the table, but everyone else had gone. Rats, I had missed him.  
“Hallo Schatz, shouldn’t you be off to bed by now?” Medic said from his seat as I turned to him and smiled, Engie shifting his gaze to look at me.  
“I was on my way, Doctor. Just looking for Spy,” I said softly, looking between him and Engineer.  
“Well, sorry darlin’ but, I ain’t seen him since he left this here kitchen.” Engineer said, looking over to Medic. The Doctor only shook his head and said an apology. Still having a soft smile on my face, I thanked them and continued onward into the halls.  
  
Obviously the first place I checked was his room, however It was late at night and I was trying my best not to wake anyone. Even my body was giving me the signal that it was time to rest, but I really wanted to talk to him. I hadn’t gotten a real chance to speak with him in so long, it was killing me. The team was losing a bit more than I care to admit, and losing put everyone’s mind in quite a bit of turmoil in general. There was a lot more to focus on than chatting with your friends.  
I took a deep breathe as I started off in the direction to my room. Mine was located right next to Spy’s, which was good when I realized how nicely we got along. It was quite pleasant knowing he wasn’t far.  
  
As I entered my all too familiar living quarters, I plopped down on my bed with a grunt. Still feeling a bit stumped from the recent events of tonight, I stared out the small window in my room, which framed the moon perfectly.  
  
Click  
  
The door to Spy’s room made that sound I had become acutely aware of from living next to him for almost a year. That was the sound of someone entering.  
It was so incredibly silent in the building that it made me jump, but I immediately stood up, glad to have discovered he hadn’t fallen off the face of the earth.  
It was almost inaudible, which was strange because usually it was loud and noticeable, the RED base being quite old and rickety after all, but I guess it was late and it was silent enough for me to hear it. I walked out of my room and to his; placing a quiet knock on the wooden door.  
  
“Spy?” I said, this time quieter than when I had called his name before, now almost a whisper.  
I put my hand against the door and my face close as well, straining my ears to pick up any noise I could from the other side.  
There was silence, then some shuffling around.  
  
“ _Oui?_ What do you need?” I heard from the other side of the door, a bit muffled but I could hear him.

“I’ve been looking for you, I want to talk to you,” I said, only letting a few seconds of silence sit between the two of us before I stuttered to add to my sentence. 

“I-If you’re not busy, that is! I completely understand if it’s too late.”   
There was more silence, and then the door suddenly opened before me, taking me by complete surprised, but it opened only a crack. I jumped back a bit and looked up, seeing him peak his head through the door. His mask was on, but I could still see how tired he was in his expression. Yet, he still managed to look incredibly handsome.

“Is it important?” Spy asked through lidded eyes, and I felt a sudden pang of guilt go through me. He looked exhausted. I wasn’t going to say anything though, I’m sure he already knew what he looked like.

“I, well...” I tore my gaze away from him and to the ground without realizing it, my thumping heart making me furrow my eyebrows in annoyance.

“No. I just, really miss talking to you and-“ I sighed, cutting myself off, choosing to pick my words carefully as to not irritate him or waste his time.

“Actually, it’s fine. Maybe tomorrow we could speak?” I looked back up at him, mentally kicking myself a thousand times for thinking he would be up for a conversation at this hour.

“Sorry for disturbing you, I know its been a long week.” I said, my eyes filled with sympathy.  
His expression was unreadable, and I couldn’t bare to stand there like an idiot anymore, so I looked back down to my feet and started to walk back to my room without caring to wait for a response.  
That was my plan at least, until I heard him call my name softly. I froze in my tracks, my stomach doing a little dance after hearing him call me by my first name after such a long time.  
  
“It _has_ been quite a while since we last properly spoke, I wouldn’t mind having a conversation with you again, _mon ami_.” I heard him say from behind me, turning my head to see that he had opened the door fully and was standing in the doorway, one arm behind his back in a polite manner. 

“Forgive me, for I am extremely fatigued. Today has not been my day. That being said, I am still willing to talk.”  
A smile broke out onto my face as I walked happily back to him.

“I’m glad to hear it. I’ve sure missed your charm.” I teased, nudging him with my elbow playfully. He let out a breathy chuckle in response, backing out of my way to let me inside. I nodded at him gratefully and entered his room. I’ve only stepped foot in his quarters once or twice before now, it always baffled me how fancy it was compared to the building.  
I heard him shut the door behind me and I walked to a bookshelf that he had, glancing at a few titles. He had leaned up against his fireplace, watching after following me into his room. His interior was lit up only by a lamp at an armchair near another bookshelf. The fireplace gave a nice ambience, the crackling wood made it feel cozy. It gave off a nice relaxing feel.

“I can’t help but feel bad for bugging you this late at night, Spy, but,” I started, slowly turning to face him. “Thank you for saying yes anyways. It means a lot to me. You were one of the first friends I made when I arrived here at 2Fort.”  
A soft smile broke onto Spy’s face at my words. 

“Don’t be sorry, _ma chérie,_ as I said, I’m glad to finally converse with you.”  
I mirrored his smile, and walked over to him. I was looking around, even if I was aware that his eyes were still on me. 

“Your room is very beautiful, you have quite the taste, not that I’m surprised.” My smile grew as I turned my gaze to meet his. I made sure to mentally note how the dim light from the fireplace accentuated his features. He took a deep breath and glanced around his room as well. 

“Yes, well, I tried my best to make it feel like home.” He said, reaching into his jacket and pulling out his cigarette case.  
I watched him take out a cigarette and light it idly, feeling at ease in his calm presence. I sighed peacefully, shifting over and leaning back on the fireplace beside him, making sure to be cautious about said fire. The warmth on my legs soothing me even more so. I saw him look at me in my peripheral and I hoped he realized that even in silence I was enjoying his company, relishing in it even. My thoughts started floating across my mind, and I started pondering if I should ask where he was when I couldn’t find him, but I was digging the comfortable silence and decided not to ruin it.  
I let my eyes close and tilted my head up slightly, feeling how drowsy I was even more than I felt it before. I almost forgot where I was before that silky voice reached my ears.

“The day you came to 2Fort was a very pleasant one, it was nice to have a person around that had class,” I heard him say from beside me, his voice hushed, almost like he was trying to say it so I wouldn’t hear. I opened my eyes, looking over to him. He was looking ahead of himself, focused on nothing in particular. He had just taken a drag from his cigarette and was blowing out the smoke.  
I couldn’t help but snort softly at his statement. 

“Me? Yeah, ok, I don’t know what’s in those cigarettes of yours, but I’m anything but classy.” I smiled widely with amusement, looking ahead of myself as well. 

“I’m serious, I felt like you were the first real human I had talked to in a long time,”  
Your playful smile faded into a thoughtful one. That was pleasing to hear from a man like Spy. A response wasn’t exactly needed, (I also didn’t know how to respond to such a grand compliment anyway) so I let the comfortable silence sit between us for a few more minutes. The faint sound of Spy occasionally taking a drag of his cigarette was almost soothing. 

After a bit, I yawned and took it as a wake up call to get to bed. If _I_ was tired, I couldn’t imagine how Spy felt. Taking a deep breath and pushing myself off the fireplace, I turned to Spy. 

“I shouldn’t keep you up any longer.. Plus I’m quite tired myself, actually,” I smiled bashfully. “It was so nice to spend time with you again, thank you.” I said, finding my voice going a bit quite, clueless as to why. 

“The pleasure is all mine, _ma fleur,”_ He responded, walking me to the door. The nickname he gave me made my face heat up and I could hear the exhaustion in his voice, but that didn’t make it any less velvety. I had hung around him enough to pick up on a few words and I guess it was coming in handy. 

We said our goodbyes and parted ways, the smile never leaving my face. I wouldn't ever get tired of that man.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, you made it to the end of my chapter. Fuckin awesome cuz now I get to ramble about tf2!  
> I’ve known the game since I was young and would play it non stop (I actually would only play on the slender maps or MLP maps LMFAO) it has always been my childhood.  
> The only time I actually played the game properly was the pvp in between rounds of slender man WHICH MEANS I SUCK ASS AT THE GAME. I’m practicing tho cuz recently I’ve got back into the game, reading the comics for the first time (even tho I knew the plot twists already) and oh boy.. did I fall hard for Spy. I always thought if anyone I would love Scout the most but nope! This cheeky Frenchie stole my heart and ran, and I’m not complaining!  
> Let me know if you liked my work so far, it would mean the world to me OH YEAH tell me if you want me to put in accents for Spy????!? Ill do them for Medic but idk if it looks good on Spy or not. I’m conflicted because in other works with Spy I would be over the moon if they used accents but now that I’m actually writin I feel like it looks weird BAHAHAH ok ok I’ll shut up now THANK YOU FOR READING!!


	2. Time to Fight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You get to see Reader on the battle field, some blood is shed and there's some bonding among buddies!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOO EVERYONE HELLO POP HELLO SCRUNCH HELLOOOO URO HELLOOAOOOO EVERYONE ELSE!! thank you for coming back!! this chapter is bit more focused on da other doods on the team but still some spy stuff 😊

Chatter filled room as breakfast was being served. It was the next day and Engie was putting plates of pancakes in front of everyone at the table. Scout immediately started to shovel the fluffy saucers into his mouth, making me laugh. Soldier questioned if the pancakes were grown on American soil, followed by Engineer trying to explain to him how pancakes work.  
Everyone else started to eat, but I noticed something was missing.  
Well, more like someone. My French buddy wasn’t in the room, which made me frown internally for more than one reason.  
One, these pancakes were delicious, and two, I was hoping to see him this morning, maybe exchange a few words before hopping into battle where having a friendly conversation was out of the question.

“Engineer, dude, dese pamcakes are amaffing,” I heard Scout exclaim with a mouth full of food from a few seats over, snapping me out of my thoughts and back to my own plate. I smiled as I continued eating, the mutters of praise directed towards Engie’s cooking filled the room. Engineer’s chest swelled with pride, and today was off to a good start.

As I looked up to add more syrup to my pancakes, I saw Spy standing in the kitchen doorway! My eyes immediately lit up and I straightened my posture, staring at him and hoping to get his attention.  
He was about to light a cigarette, but he did a double take and looked over to me. He held my gaze once we locked eyes. I smiled nodded over to the empty seat beside me, signalling for him to come sit down. He seemed to have got the gesture, because he glanced at everyone else at the table and scrunched his nose, shaking his head in disagreement.  
I nodded to the seat beside me again, this time harder, my eyes wide and stern.  
I saw him let out a sigh of defeat, shaking his head slowly as he put his unlit cigarette back in his case, snapping it closed. He then slowly sauntered over to the table.

“Vell vell, look who decided to join us zis time,” Medic said in between bites of his breakfast. Spy let out a disgruntled groan, mumbling something in French. He pulled out the chair that was beside me and sat down.

“I am here against my will, don’t get used to it.” He responded, his expression nothing short of irritated. However, I could tell he wasn’t really angry.  
I nudged him with my elbow like I had last night, making him look at me. I gave him a smile and he rolled his eyes, a small grin staring to become visible on his face. 

“C’mon, try Engie’s pancakes. They’re so good,” I said, looking over to Engineer and asking for an empty plate for Spy. There wasn’t a serving made for Spy already and I wasn’t surprised. He never really showed up for breakfast, usually eating something he made for himself after all of us left. Engie obliged and placed the plate in front of Spy. I lifted an untouched pancake with my fork and knife, putting it on his plate. 

“Syrup’s there,” I told him, pointing to it with my butter knife. I leaned towards him, lowering my voice. “It’s good to spend some time with your colleagues, Spy. if you don’t like thinking of it that way then… Do it for me instead?” I said, making sure only he could hear. I didn’t wait for a response before I sat back up and started to cut a piece of my pancake. I heard him sigh, and then the sound of clanging cutlery.  
I glanced over to him and he had taken his first bite. His expression was the same, but he didn’t look disgusted.  
Duh, Engie’s baking was amazing. I laughed and told him it wasn’t going to kill him, and to just enjoy it. I turned back to my plate, focusing on my breakfast.

A few minutes went by and I looked over to Spy, he had a vexed expression on his face, but he was eating the food just fine. My guess is that he was conflicted that he actually liked the food.  
My hand flew to my face as I laughed, realizing he had a bit of syrup on the side of his mouth, I waited for him to wipe it with the napkin he had put on his lap, but he didn’t.  
I called his name softly raising a napkin of my own in preparation as he turned to me and swallowed the food he had in his mouth. He raised his eyebrow in confusion until I lifted my arm up and wiped at the corner of his mouth, making sure not to miss any spots. He seemed to freeze, not daring to move an inch. I had the urge to linger my hand on his face, but I decided against it. I didn’t want to make things weird. He didn’t move until I had pulled my hand away with a wide smile. I didn’t say anything after that, I only placed my napkin down again and went back to my own plate.  
I seemed distracted, however, for I could still see him staring at me in my peripheral, an odd habit he seemed to have.  
a few more minutes passed, enough for almost everyone to finish eating.

“Well, Engineer, it’s certainly not horrible...” Spy started, placing his knife and fork down on his plate and wiping his face with the napkin on his lap, making me smile.  
Demoman laughed, pushing his empty plate towards Medic who was in the process of cleaning up everyone’s dishes.

“Aye, it looks like Spy ain’t made of stone after all,” Demo exclaimed, leaning back in his chair with his arms behind his head.  
Spy rolled his eyes and stood up, deciding to take his plate to the sink himself rather than giving it to Medic. 

“So, I’m not allowed to give compliments anymore? What a world we live in,” Spy responded, placing his plate and cutlery in the sink and walking back to stand beside the table, instinctively taking out his cigarette case.

“We are not saying you cannot give compliment, we are saying it is very rare,” Heavy said, standing up and taking over Medic’s job, cleaning up the rest of the plates. 

“ _Very rare?_ Nah nah nah, very rare is when you ask for advice about somefing, and den he actually gives you good advice instead of laughing in ya face,” Scout piped up, dropping his fork on his plate, looking anywhere but at Spy.  
“And by very rare I mean it _nevah_ happens.” He looked back down to his plate.

The room went quiet and Spy lit his cigarette that rested between his lips, not responding to anyone’s comments. I couldn’t help but feel bad for him, not only because he was almost being ganged up on, but because those things were true in most cases.  
Not when it came to me, though. Just the other night he had complimented me, more than once if I remember correctly. I’m also sure if I asked him for advice, he wouldn’t mind at all giving the best answers he could. What was up with that?

I looked at my watch and saw that it was 30 minutes until battle. I let everyone know and stood up, thanking Engineer for the meal as everyone started to disperse as well.  
Engie grinned at me and patted me on the shoulder as I walked out of the kitchen, going to get ready.

\-------

Everybody was grouped up in the respawn room, weapons ready.

_Mission begins in 10 seconds._

I had managed to squeeze my way beside Spy, the room was filled with everyone talking nineteen to the dozen. I cleared my throat and tilted my head sideways to Spy, pondering about what to say.

_10…_

_9…_

“Hey, good luck out there, let’s win this,” I whispered to Spy. I heard him chuckle and that made me look at him. 

“ _Bonne chance_ to you as well, _mon ami,_ not that you will need it,” He answered, eyes already on me. I laughed softly and he turned his head to look forward again with a smile.

_3.._

“ _Soit prudent, ma fleur,_ ” 

_2…_

“What?

_1…_

“Spy, wha-“

_The mission has started!_

Battle cries roared from my friends, charging out of the respawn room, including Spy.  
I heard him call me that nickname again, but I didn’t know what he had said before that.  
I ran out with my colleagues, making a detour to get outside of the base. I already heard the sound of guns being shot, and as I rounded the corner, chaos ensued.  
Scout was fighting his BLU counterpart on the top of the bridge, and Medic was sticking close to Heavy who was just now making his way out of the building. I heard yelling and then saw Demo running across the bridge with Pyro, managing to kill a BLU Soldier and their Medic as well.  
I was waiting for a good time to try and infiltrate the BLU base, but then a bullet hit the wall beside me and I jolted, dodging around the corner. Damn Snipers.  
I managed to run to the other side of the building’s entryway and looked out again, this time hiding a bit better. I scanned the area, and my eyes caught Spy.

Not my Spy.

That Spy was BLU, and I saw him drop down into the water, going into the sewer leading into the RED base. I furrowed my eyebrows. Oh no you don’t.  
I glanced around until I decided to dart out from my spot, jumping into the water and following him.  
I tried to be as quiet as I could, but the water was too noisy. I pulled out my pistol, holding it with both my hands. I turned around quickly a few times, making sure he wouldn’t be able to sneak up on me. I made it through the sewer, walking up the stairs and hiding around a corner as I heard a Heavy and a Medic. I wasn’t sure which team they were on, but I soon saw they were my colleagues.  
I then heard the sound of someone de-cloaking. Panic shot through me as I saw that BLU Spy I had followed was currently sneaking up behind Medic.  
I raised my gun, but my heart started to race even more.  
He got closer, almost directly behind Medic, raising his knife.

Without even thinking, I sprinted out from my spot and to Spy, he looked in my direction, eyes widening before I pushed him down into the ground.  
Heavy and Medic turned around, surprise written all over their faces. I panted, trying to calm my beating heart, loosening my grip on the pistol in my right hand.  
I heard Spy groan, slowly lifting himself up with his elbows.

“ _Putain qu'—_ "

And then I heard the sound of Heavy’s gun whirring followed by bullets being shot.  
I flinched, turning away immediately, sighing to myself. I looked back to Heavy, and he had a confused expression on his face. I didn’t dare look down at what was once a living person laying at my feet. Blood had been splattered all on my side, and I tried to wipe some off, which just ended up smearing it on my clothes. I moaned in annoyance.

“What was that? Why not just shoot?” Heavy asked, gesturing to the pistol in my hand. I stared at him, going rigid as my mind raced.

“Out of ammo.”  
Heavy and Medic exchanged glances before thanking me for saving them and turning around, brushing it off and going back into battle.  
I took a deep breath and went down back the way I came.

Why did I freeze? I could have just shot him, I’ve done it plenty before. I definitely had the ammo. Why am I know suddenly feeling remorseful? Its like I was Benjamin Button-ing; Going in reverse.  
My thoughts were interrupted by a sudden scream, it was Medic. I cursed under my breath, taking out my assault rifle and running back to where I had previously been only to be surprised by blue grenades bouncing off the wall and landing at my feet.  
My eyes widened and I ran out of the way as fast as I could. The force of the explosion made me fall to the ground, but I scrambled to my feet. I heard the BLU Demoman that had shot the grenades at me yell something unintelligible, followed by more yelling, but from other people.  
Shit, there were more BLUs out there. I switched back to my pistol, running from the scene and up past the respawn room. I ran a bit further, making sure to be aware of my surroundings until I saw Sniper aiming through his scope and out a window. I tried to catch my breath before I spoke to warn him.

“Sniper, there’s—"  
He flinched, spinning around and accidentally hitting me in the face with the barrel of his rifle.  
I yelped and jolted back, my hand flying to my nose which was now spurting out crimson. 

“Bloody ‘ell, Sheila! I’m Sorry, you scared the dickens outta me,” Sniper said, lowering his gun and putting a hand on my forearm.

“Its ok, Sniber,” I said, lowering my hand from my face and moving my nose around, scrunching it and then whimpering in pain. 

“I tink it’s broken,” I said, laughing. Sniper gave me a worried look. 

“Listen, I could go get Medic, or-or I’ll go look for sum medicine packs—”

I jolted up with a curse, making Sniper flinch again, looking at me with wide eyes. I grabbed both of his shoulders with such urgency I think I scared him.

“Sniber! The BLUs! They’re on their way you gotta—"  
Guns began to fire in our direction, one lucky shot hitting me right in my knee, another hitting me in my side, making me drop to the wooden floor with a scream. Sniper took cover around the corner as I saw a BLU Engineer walking up the set of wooden stairs with a Pyro by his side. I clutched my knee and had to refrain from crying.  
My breathing picked up and I lifted my gaze to Sniper. He was looking at me, his face panicked and sweat started forming on his brow, glasses a bit crooked. He had his submachine gun in his hands, but I shook my head desperately.

“Sniber go, now! They don’t have to kill both of us!” I said, taking out my pistol and cocking it. The BLUs were mildly distracted by a few of our teammates coming out of spawn, but then a BLU Medic showed up and things got a lot worse. At least the adrenaline was numbing the pain of having a hole in my kneecap and liver.  
“Are you crazy!? I’m not leavin' you here to die like some coward would!” He yelled in a hushed tone, his voice cracking in the process. 

“Go now, I’m serious, its not worth both of us dying,” My intention was to yell, but the blood loss was forcing me to be exhausted, making me sound pathetic.  
I leaned by head back to touch the wooden wall behind me, trying to keep my eyes open.  
Sniper glanced from me to the doorway where the BLUs where about to walk through, I could here them getting closer. 

“If we’re both goin’ to die, I’m takin’ a BLU wit’ me.” He whispered, pulling out his kukri.  
I lifted my head, eyes widening. I opened my mouth to protest, but the BLU Pyro walked through the doorway. Sniper swung at them, his blade going right into the Pyro’s throat, making blood go everywhere as if someone hooked up a sprinkler to someone’s jugular.  
Sniper let go of his kukri, letting the Pyro fall to the ground, dead.  
He took out his submachine gun and started shooting around the corner. I lifted my pistol and tried to aim best I could, but I missed every fucking shot until they backed up enough that I couldn’t see them any longer. I was starting to get dizzy, and I looked over at Sniper desperately. His chest was heaving, and he didn’t stop aiming at the doorway. 

What felt like an eternity passed before I heard movement again. The BLU Engineer suddenly appeared and started shooting at Sniper. Sniper managed to shoot him a few times, but Engineer shot him right in the head. His hat flew off and his body fell to the wooden floor. I whimpered, clenching my eyes shut. I had to use my remaining strength to keep my composure. The BLU Engineer held his side where he got shot, but was shortly healed by his Medic. He glanced around and then his eyes landed on me.

“Now what d’we got ourselves here?” I heard him speak, standing in front of me.  
I let out a shaky sigh, trying not to look at my dead friend on the ground only a few feet away, staring right at the Engineer with my brows furrowed. I went to aim, but he quickly shot at my hand with his own pistol, making me cry out and drop my weapon. I clutched my hand to my chest, his gun then aiming square between my eyes.

“Nice try, darlin’. I’ll make this quick, ok?”

I spat at his feet, it being more blood than saliva thanks to my nose.  
He made a guttural sound in response, stepping back.

“Why, you little—”

And then I was I the respawn room.

My hands flew to my knee and side on impulse. I panted, closing my eyes, I still had the adrenaline pulsing through me. I don’t think I would ever get used to that. I glanced around to see if Sniper was here, and to thank him, but I had missed him. I took a shaky breath through my nose and stood up straight, a few of my companions respawning beside me as well, but wasting no time as they ran out, so I followed them.

\------------

_Alert! The enemy has taken our intelligence!_

Shit, shit shit _shit!_  
Me along with a few of my comrades stopped what they were doing and started making a B-Line to the intelligence room.  
Scout ran past me and into the RED base, and some of us went a different route to get to our Intel.  
That was until I heard the familiar sound of someone un-cloaking again. Damn, that really gave Spies away, didn't it?  
I stopped in my tracks and was surprised to see no one else heard it, because they kept running. I backtracked a bit, still being cautious because I didn’t know if the Spy I heard was an enemy or not. I rounded a corner, but quickly jolted back around it when I saw BLU Spy again—and he had the intelligence! He had just un-cloaked, looking around and making sure it was safe. He managed to sneak past all of us.  
Almost all of us.

I pulled out my pistol and rounded the corner, aimed at his head. He saw me immediately, putting up his arms with an annoyed look on his face, but when he got a closer look at me, he went through an array of emotions before settling on annoyed again. 

“Aren’t you the one who pushed me?” He said, almost laughing. I flinched at his words, huffing and tightening my grip around my pistol.

“Drop the intelligence.” 

He raised his eyebrow. “Why not just shoot me? You’ve done it plenty of time before. It’s almost boring,” He said, lowering his arms to rest on his hips.  
I muttered out a ‘fine’ and cocked my gun, hating how cocky he was, like he thought I wasn't going to. Of course I was going to.

I felt myself squeeze the trigger, but something was different.  
Wait, my eyes were closed—when did I close my eyes? I opened them to see him on the ground, a pool of blood slowly taking form around his head. I looked around, making sure he wasn’t using a Dead Ringer. When I deemed it safe, I stood in the general area of the intelligence, guarding it.

_We have taken the enemy intelligence._

I sighed in relief, but I was still tense, Seriously guys? Was no one going to help me defend our Intel? That’s what I thought at least until I saw Pyro running in one of the hallways. 

“Pyro! Pyro come here!” I called for them, glancing around to make sure no BLUs heard me. They jogged over to me with a questioning ‘mm mph’. I was still a bit frazzled, and my breathing never seemed to calm down fully.

“You need to help me buddy. H-help me make sure no BLU gets the intelligence, alright?”  
Pyro looked at me, and then the intelligence at my feet, and then back to me again before nodding happily.  
A few minutes passed before an enemy Soldier ran through the entryway, picking up the intelligence and running around the corner. I sprinted after him.

_The enemy has dropped our intelligence._

What?  
I rounded the corner as well, my weapon drawn, but the Soldier was dead on his back with a fire axe sticking out of his chest and a very proud Pyro standing above him. They gave me a thumbs up and I couldn’t help but laugh exhaustedly.  
We stood around guarding it until it was able to be returned to the intelligence room, killing a few BLUs when we had to. 

_Success! We have secured the enemy intelligence!_

Both of us cheered and Pyro offered me a high-five, I obliged. I was happy to actually do something to help the team again. It also felt nice to finally win after a while. I couldn't wait to tell Spy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOO so u made it! how'd u like it?!?! i tried to make this chapter longer cuz i love long chapters but i felt like that was a good place to end it
> 
> see u in the next one!!!


	3. Soirée

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You were expecting to unwind in your room alone after this morning's battle, but you get pulled into a party that the team is having, celebrating you first win in a prolonged amount of time. And guess who's there.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew :D heres another one for ya! im actually kinda proud it only took me a week for another chapter. enjoy this one you guys!!!! I kinda imagine the music playing is either out of touch or smile by lily allen cuz its kinda oldy music and i feel like that would be what would be on radio 🥺🥺🥺

After the battle, I went inside to go clean up. Showers were particularly difficult, considering Mann Co. wasn’t exactly expecting a female on the team. The guys had been surprisingly nice in agreeing to let me use the showers before them, making sure not to let anyone in the showers until I was done. It was a bit weird asking them that whenever I would use the showers, it would be just me in there. Even though it was self explanatory as to why, I still saw some confused looks and that was concerning.  
They had made a system where someone would take turns guarding the entrance because there had been too many instances where one of the men would forget and almost walk in on me. Whenever that would happen, I had to restrain myself from screaming on impulse, so I would just yell ‘occupied’ and proceed to laugh my head off. They would apologize and scurry out before seeing anything.

It was Soldiers turn to stand guard, and I was extremely eager to have a warm shower after a long day of fighting, some blood still on me from the last few fights defending the intelligence. Sometimes it was kinda nice to have someone standing outside the room, because depending on who it was, I would often have conversations with them. The doors to the showers would have to stay propped open, because if they didn’t the steam would cause more mold than there already was.  
It was actually me who enforced the role, knowing that getting sick from inhaling mold every morning was the last thing I wanted to happen to anyone on the team.  
This time Soldier rambled on about the war, and I listened just fine. Better than being lost in my own thoughts, anyway. I also made sure to wash more thoroughly than normal to get all the blood out of my hair. I found it oddly amusing how out of place my feminine hair products looked next to the guy's manly ones. I picked up a shampoo bottle and examined it as I let the warm water hit my back. A laugh burst from my chest as I looked at the Old Spice branded shampoo label that read; ‘Volcano with Charcoal’. I covered my mouth and couldn’t imagine any of the guys using this shampoo, I wonder who it belonged to. Soldier asked what I was doing and I told him it was nothing to worry about.

Once I was done, I got dressed in a clean set of clothes and dried my hair with the blow dryer I packed. I had thought about leaving it, but boy was I glad I took it. My hair was a mess without it.  
I thanked Solider as I stepped out of the doors, and he saluted me before walking away.  
I started off back to my room to unwind until Scout ran past me in the halls, bumping me in the process.  
He stuttered out an apology and was about to continue running until I grabbed him by the arm, making him almost fling back like a rag doll.

“Where’s the fire, dude?” I asked jokingly, letting go of his arm with a curious smirk.

“Huh? Oh, oh yeah! We’re celebratin’ in da kitchen. Y’know, cuz we haven’t won in like, forever,” He grinned, nodding his head in the direction he was running, inviting me to come with him. I smiled widely and the both of us walked the rest of the way.  
It was nice hearing we were going to celebrate our win, the team needed it. And, ironically enough, just a day ago I was complaining about how I hadn’t talked to Spy in a while, this was the perfect time to. Same with everyone.  
My smile then faded a tiny bit.  
What if he didn’t show up? If he didn’t want to even be there for breakfast, why would he want to attend this?  
I shook away the thought as Scout started bragging to me about the stunts he pulled in battle and how I should have been there to bask in his glory. I couldn’t help but laugh.  
Whatever. If Spy wasn’t there it didn’t mean it was the end of the world, I have my other friends there too. Why do I care so much about what decision Spy would make? He’s just my friend, I’m not his mom or anything.

As we walked through the doorway to the kitchen, everyone was occupied with something in the room. Most of them had a drink in their hand— well, Demo seemed to have way more than one in his, having some tucked in his arm or two in one hand. He was noticeably more drunk than usual, which wasn’t too surprising to me. He was having a very one-sided conversation with a concerned looking Medic, who occasionally attempted to nonchalantly take the bottles from his arm or hand and place them down.  
Heavy, Engineer and Sniper were at the kitchen counter. Engie and Sniper were having a conversation, although it looked more like them laughing most of the time, making me crack a smile. Heavy was just standing there listening in, but sometimes he would grin at the comments the two would exchange.  
Soldier and Pyro had made it too, and Soldier was talking to Pyro, probably about something patriotic. He didn’t seem fazed that Pyro was completely distracted by a candle that was on the dining table. I went to scan the rest of the room, but Scout bumped me with his arm again, this time on purpose to make me look at him. It worked, and I did.

“Alright, I’m leavin’ ya here. If you need me for anythin’, say, advice on how to be awesome, you know where ‘ta find me, I could teach you a thing or two,”  
He said, backing away from me slowly to go join in on the fun. I laughed and dismissed him with a wave of my hand before looking around the rest of the space. It took me a moment, but my smile widened as I saw Spy at the back of the room, alone, per usual.  
I immediately started off towards him, saying hello to a few of my buddies on the way.  
As I approached him, my giddiness started to kick up a notch. I laughed internally, noticing how I had to restrain myself from picking up the pace.  
I called his name and his eyebrows jumped up a bit. He looked from his cigarette that he was eyeing up and saw me, the corner of his mouth forming a small one-sided smile. I stopped in front of him as he pushed himself off the wall that he was leaning on to look at me better.

“Spy! I didn’t think you would show,” I said, crossing my arms casually. He blew out the smoke from his cigarette away from me ask I spoke.

“Really? And what made you think that?”  
He said, putting his cigarette to his lips again. I couldn’t help but watch his lips for a moment before returning my gaze to his eyes.

“Well, you weren’t too keen on sticking around for breakfast,” I said, a wider smile creeping onto my face in amusement.  
“I didn’t think you would be here either.”  
He raised an eyebrow at me and hummed in acknowledgement, his tiny grin still on his face. The room was still filled with chatter, but it wasn’t too loud other than the occasional howl of laughter from one of my colleagues.

“Are you having fun at this little soirée?” I asked, not even having a go at trying to pronounce it correctly, earning a surprised look from Spy at my use of French.

“ _Soirée?_ When did you learn French?” He asked, resting his elbow on his hand. I laughed bashfully, his pronunciation much better than my English recreation. I shrugged.

“Just picking up a few words here and there from the one and only,” I smiled teasingly as he shook his head, smiling.

“It’s cute. In an odd, offensive way.”

I laughed, feeling my face heating up at the comment, even if the comment wasn't directed towards me. I tilted my head down in attempts to hide it.

“Anyway, what are you doing in the corner all alone? You should join in, mingle a little bit, maybe make some friends,” I said jokingly, stifling a laugh as Spy looked at me with furrowed brows before realizing I was just teasing him.

“Thank God you aren’t serious.” He said a bit quietly, taking a drag from his cigarette. I laughed at his response, his smile widening as he watched me through the corner of his eye. 

“Well,” I tapped my chin thoughtfully.  
“Maybe you should at least talk to someone. They _are_ your teammates, you work with them,” I said, lifting my arm up and brushing off some ashes that had fallen on his shoulder. He watched me curiously, although I pretended to not notice. I folded my arms back on my chest as he sighed.

“Yes, my _teammates_. And I plan to keep it that way. I don’t consider anyone here my friend,” He said, his eyes landing on nothing in particular in the room as he brought his cigarette to his lips again. I raised my eyebrow.  
“Except for you, of course. You are probably the only one here who doesn’t make me want to pull my hair out.” He said without moving his gaze.  
I smiled and wacked his arm.

“Spy, c’mon, they’re my friends too. You actually should try talking to the guys more. They’re all you really got right now.”

“Aren’t you a mercenary as well? Doesn’t this count as ‘talking to the guys?” He huffed, scanning the room idly. I giggled.

“I mean, sure. Oh, but I _am_ going to socialize with a few of my other friends. Dang,” I pursed my lips, a smirk edging its way on to my face.  
“However, you’re welcome to come join in on the group conversation, Spy.” I finished playfully, making him roll his eyes with a hint of amusement.  
I gave him a soft smile before turning around and walking away to go talk to everyone else.

I had decided to walk to Sniper Engie and Heavy who were still in the kitchen. I thanked Sniper about what he had done on the field and he told me not to worry about it, ruffling my hair in the process. He pushed a beer into my hands and clinked my glass with his. I looked at if for a moment before smiling and taking a sip. I wasn’t the alcoholic type, but I didn’t hate the stuff. It was a celebration, one couldn’t hurt. The three of us sparked up a conversation and It only took a few minutes before Spy popped up beside me reluctantly, earning a few surprised comments from Engie and Sniper. A smile never left my face at the situation. I was glad Spy had decided to include himself, it was a celebration after all. I was also always happy to talk to him.

After maybe 20 minutes, Scout had walked back into the room from whenever he left, announcing his arrival in a fairly drunken manner which was extremely amusing. He made a few heads turn, and he was rambling on about how he was the best class, something along those lines at least. Spy and I exchanged glances, Spy looking completely unimpressed as to which made me hold in my laughter. I had a few more beers in that span of time, enough that I could definitely feel I was intoxicated. Spy had refused to drink anything, I guess it made sense, he was always drinking his own fancy stuff.  
Scout had a radio in his hand and slammed it on the table, making a few knives and forks fly off. Everyone watched in curiosity.  
He called out to no one in particular about how it was time to ‘make this party less of a bore fest’, turning on the radio and blasting the volume on some channel that he probably listened to quite often.  
Everyone but a selected few were at least a bit tipsy at this point, Demo had passed out fully on the table, empty bottles surrounding him. I saw Medic with a beer in his hand, but he wasn’t drinking it, just holding it for show, I guess. Scout started to dance horridly, but it made me burst out into laughter. He didn’t care at all how he looked, he was having a great time.  
Solider was shaking his head in disapproval as Pyro clapped excitedly, running to the middle of the room and pushing the dining table out of the way. Demo flinched awake, looking around at the sudden movement before putting his face back down on the table. Engie nudged me as Sniper walked to the middle of the room along with a few others. I looked over to him and he gestured towards the middle of the room, which was now turned into a makeshift dance floor, already attracting a crowd.

“C’mon darlin’, looks like a dance party’s broken out!” Engie exclaimed, setting down his bottle and cheering before joining in on the dancing.  
My eyes widened and my head snapped eagerly to Spy who was sighing, already pinching the bridge of his nose with his eyes shut.

“I know what you’re going to ask, and the answer is no.” Spy said, continuing to pinch the bridge of his nose until I found myself leaning into his chest suddenly and looking up at him. My lip was sticking out dramatically and I tried my best to give him the puppy dog eyes, no doubt making myself look ridiculous. I was gripping his suit a bit, taking in how nice the fabric felt, especially on my face. I almost nuzzled my head into him, but the part of me that was still sober screamed at me not to, so I didn’t. He was staring down at me with surprised eyes, he certainly wasn’t expecting that. He had frozen again, his arms up in an obvious shocked way, not daring to put them down in case he touched me unintentionally. His cigarette almost fell from his lips before he cleared his throat and gained his composure, lowering his arms just a bit and relaxing.

“Pleeeeeeassse? You’re so boring, I bet you’re a good dancer, though,” I smiled with lidded eyes, taking a deep breath through my nose unconsciously to smell him, not caring if I wasn’t being subtle that I was straight up smelling him. He cleared his throat, then attempted to tear me off of him. He was successful, I was jelly at that point, so I didn’t really protest other than a few whines.  
He huffed, taking a quick drag from his cigarette and straightening his tie. He muttered a ‘fine’, which made me jump up in down in excitement. 

“I will accompany you, but I refuse to dance around such a crowd of judgmental—“ 

“Spyy, okay fine, whatever,” I uttered, crossing my arms. 

“Wait... You mean you’re willing to dance with me If there wasn’t such a crowd? Cuz that’s basically what you said.” I asked, smirking a bit. Spy raised an eyebrow at me, smiling shortly after. He didn’t answer before walking to the floor with me hot on his heels.

“How many drinks did you have again, _ma chérie?_ ” He asked over his shoulder.

“Hmmm. Not too many I promise. I don’t remember the exact amount but not too many,” I said, giving him a big toothy grin as he watched over his shoulder.  
“I think...” I finished, knitted my eyebrows together with a thoughtful expression.  
He hummed in acknowledgement and we made it to the middle of the room. The music was still going, and some of the team was dancing together or just shuffling. Before even waiting for him, I started to dance to the music, not caring if it was sloppy. I heard Spy start to speak, turning around expecting to see me and cutting himself off by my sudden absence. I saw him glance around and see me dancing, laughing as I watched him stare for a moment before clearing his throat and walking to me. I tried not to bump any of my friends that were dancing beside me as well.  
He called my name with an amused smile, making me slow down my dancing and watch him curiously. 

“That is dancing?” He asked, not a hint of rudeness in his tone. I snorted and slowed down completely so I was just shuffling in front of him.

“Duh! What, you’ve never seen such a good dancer before, is that it?” I asked, laughing shortly after. He chuckled and blew out some smoke from his mouth.

“Yes, that is exactly what I was thinking,”

“Spy, dance with me, just a little bit, no one will notice,” I said, my voice going quiet. I wasn’t even sure if he heard me before I saw him groan, starting to shuffle with me. I let out a drunken giggle as I spun, earning a low laugh from Spy. I turned back to face him from my spin, losing my balance a bit and bumping someone behind me, getting pushed forward making me stumble awkwardly toward Spy and almost closing the gap between us completely.  
I squeaked and stuttered out an apology to whoever was behind me before looking back up at him with a shy smile. He grinned softly, shaking his head.  
We ‘danced’ like that for a while before a new song came on, still pretty upbeat. I hip bumped him once, earning a chuckle or two, or just talk about things in general.  
I had remembered to start telling him about how I did in battle this morning, and he listened with a smile. Since I was a bit drunk, I was aware how much more childish I was acting, especially in explaining a fight scene or how awesome it felt to help. It didn’t seem to bug Spy, he seemed quite amused to be honest. He wasn’t speaking all that much other than acknowledging me from time to time. I’m not sure if it was because I was talking so much that I didn’t give him a chance, or he was just happy listening.  
After a bit of me rambling, the both of quieted down and focused on dancing, I did a least. He sarcastically complimented me on my dancing, and I laughed, thanking him and doing a quick curtsy, making him smile.

I found myself staring at him a bit longer, noticing the details of his face in a way I hadn’t before. I don’t know if it was the alcohol, (it was) but I realized how much I felt like I wanted to kiss him. It shocked me even, and I probably would have felt like that with anyone in the room at this point, but imagining wrapping my arms around his neck as he kissed me, using his tongue to—  
I was snapped out of my thoughts by Spy calling my name with a raised eyebrow.  
I shook my head and tried to brush it off.

“Shit, were you talking? Sorry sorry, I was just thinking— just imagining about how it would feel to kiss you,” I said, laughing before jolting to a halt, my blood going cold and colour surely rushing to my face. My hand flew to my mouth, almost missing and smacking me square in the jaw.  
My legs were moving before I could even think about running as I tried to bolt away, ramming into Heavy and falling hard on the ground. Heavy barely moved and I groaned, holding my head. I could hear Heavy speak, but it was just blabberings to me. I saw a few figures stand over me, hearing unintelligible voices until I tried to sit up on my elbows. As soon as I tried, pain rang through my head and I fell back down. The last thing I saw was people crouching down beside me until everything went black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> eyyyyyy thats the end of this chapter! felt like that was a good place to leave it. see you in the next one you stinkies!!!! its a little shorter than i would usually write, but it still has good stuff


	4. Trouble

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day after the party, what the hell happened? Reader certainly doesn't remember. She then finds herself in a sticky situation on the battlefield.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hiiii!! i hope you enjoy this chapter, ill make sure to try my best to pump out updates :P also making when other classes speak a diff language its in italics cuz i feel thats appropriate whoops (or for just exaggeration) ((duh))

My eyes opened slowly, adjusting to the light of the room I was in. It smelled like a hospital, but it smelled like a hospital that was about to be shut down because of how poorly maintained it was. Almost instantly my head was pounding.  
I blinked a few times, and realized how cold my back was. I shivered, managing to turn my head without too much pain, looking around. I saw immediately that I was in the med bay, not long after my eyes landed on Medic who’s back was turned from me, doing something over the counter. I could still feel a faint pain in my head.

“Medic?” I asked, my voice sounding horribly raspy which made me clear my throat impulsively. He flinched a bit, spinning around with a wide grin.

“Ah, _Schatz._ You’re awake. Good. You took quite a fall last night, didn’t you?” He said, walking over to a table that was beside the metal exam table I was on. I sat up, rubbing my head and yawning.  
Wait, last night?

“What do you mean last night?!” I said suddenly, my eyes going a bit wide as I turned to him. He looked surprised for a moment before chuckling and starting to take off his red gloves.

“When you fell and hit your head, I took a quick look to make sure it was not anything serious. When it wasn’t, I asked a few of the mercenaries to take you to your room and put you on your bed,” He said, taking off his gloves fully and placing them down beside some tools, walking to the sink and washing his hands. He let out a small laugh before continuing.  
“You had just fallen asleep after that, oddly enough. In the morning I brought you down here for a more thorough check. Make sure no screws were loose. You are a very heavy sleeper.” He finished, turning off the tap and picking up a towel to dry his hands.  
I took a breath and swung my legs over the side of the table. 

“My head is still pounding, though,” I said, wincing as I massaged my temples. He laughed again.

“Hangover, my dear. Next time try to eat something with all that alcohol inside of you, _ja?_ ”  
I laughed bashfully.

“Right.” I said, standing up and stretching, a question dawning on me as I did.

“No one was too worried, right?” I asked, yawning again and walking to the nearest mirror to try and fix my awful looking bed head.

“Hmm, well, no I don’t recall anyone— _Archimedes!_ ” He cut himself off, suddenly scrambling to said bird who was in the process of stealing one of the scalpels that sat on a small metal table.  
I turned around to see for a moment before laughing and looking back to the mirror. He managed to shoo away the dove, scolding him in the process.  
I pursed my lips in frustration as I tried to fix my hair. I would need my brush, or a shower even.

“Sorry about that,” he said, picking up a few tools that had fallen to the ground and placing them back on the table.  
“Actually, now that I think about it, Spy was quite concerned after that whole situation.”  
That immediately made me smile, turning to Medic for him to continue.

“He insisted on taking you to your room when I told some of the others to, it was quite amusing honestly.”  
Medic said, adjusting his glasses and smiling at me, leaning on the exam table with a free hand. I laughed, shrugging it off.

“Anyway, thanks for making sure I wasn’t dead or anything, Medic,” I said, scratching the back of my neck.

“Just doing my job, _Schatz,_ ” he responded with a smile, waving goodbye to me as I did to him, walking out of the med bay doors.

Well. Spy was concerned, hey? That’s funny. I’m totally going to tease him about it. I started walking down the halls, making my way to the kitchen to maybe grab breakfast.  
What even happened last night? I remember dancing. Aaaand that’s it. That’s all I remember. Oh yeah, and ramming my face into heavy. That too.  
Speaking of ramming my face into things, I hit the wall at the end of the hallway with a mildly loud bonk. I swore louder than the sound of my face hitting wood and rubbed my nose. I really had to start watching where I was going.  
I looked around to make sure no one saw and made my way too the kitchen, making sure to keep an eye ahead of me this time.

I had slept in, (I wonder why) so there wasn’t much time to waste before battle, but Engie saved me a plate of bacon and eggs. I still felt a bit groggy from the small hangover I had, but eating definitely helped. Soldier scolded me for sleeping in and I tried to explain to him with a smile about how it wasn’t necessarily my fault. Medic should have woken me up earlier.  
It didn’t take me long before I had finished and I thanked Engie briskly, hoping to try and find Spy before battle again. I walked out of the kitchen until I couldn’t be seen before speeding down the halls to Spy’s room.  
A smile never left my face as I walked to his room, butterflies kicked up in my stomach in excitement and I knocked on his door quickly.  
It was silent for a moment, but I called his name and I heard movement. Footsteps grew closer to the door and I almost held my breath.  
The door opened in front of me fully and Spy stood in the doorway.

“So, do you have a concussion?” Was the first thing he asked, making me laugh softly.

“Medic said I’m all good. I guess my skull is pretty thick. Explains a lot, huh?” I said, laughing and nudging him with my elbow, a move I had grown to love.  
He smiled for a moment before almost flinching away from my touch. That was odd.

“I suppose that is nice to hear.” Is all he said, a bit quieter than usual. I furrowed my eyebrows.

“Yeah. I uh, I guess it is,” I said, staring at him with narrowed eyes. His gaze had shifted onto the ground and his body language screamed uncomfortable. This was so weird, in all my years I had never seen him like this. 

“You ok, Spy?” I said, not knowing to do with my arms so I crossed them.  
“Something’s bothering you, what happened?” I asked, leaning on the doorway a bit. He looked at me and cleared his throat, straightening his posture.

“ _Mon ami,_ I am just exhausted from last night. I can assure you once I’m well rested, I will be back to normal,” he answered, rubbing his eyes.

“Aw, I’m sorry Spy, are you feeling ok? You ate, right?” I asked, reaching out a hand to him. He took a deep breath and walked out of his room, bumping my arm with no regards to it at all and making me retract it back to my body. My eyebrows twitched.

“As I said, I am tired. I will see you on the field,” He said before waking past me and turning the corner. I stood there utterly confused. I guess he was having a bad day or something, I should probably leave him alone.

After that I had walked into my room, did a bit of reading to pass the time until it was 30 minutes before battle again. I stood up to go and prepare, hoping that Spy would be in a better mood. I wasn’t going to try and converse with him, knowing that he needed space right now. Maybe I could ask around what happened last night.

I managed to gain bits and pieces of what went down, but it was pretty much everything I already knew. I wish I had remembered last night, I bet I had a great time. Hopefully I didn’t do anything stupid, either. Soon enough I made my way to the respawn room, most of everyone already waiting for the round to start.

As we stood in the all too familiar room, I scanned almost frantically for Spy. I caught a glimpse of his signature red suit, and started to shuffle through my colleagues, earning myself a few glances before I caught myself and sighed, returning to my original position.  
He wouldn’t be in the mood to talk based on this morning’s interaction. I stared longingly at where I had saw him before, unable to see him now. Demoman put a hand on my shoulder, making me flinch. I looked over to him and he gave me a smile. 

“I thought if anyone would get knocked out at that party, it would be meh,” he said, making me groan in embarrassment as he laughed. He patted me on the shoulder before grabbing hold of his grenade launcher again and I sighed, facing forward as I heard the Administrator start counting down.

\---------

Bullets barraged overhead and I ducked to cover before any managed to make contact. It had been maybe 20 minutes since the round had started and we were making no progress. It had just been us running around killing BLUs, trying to make our way to the intelligence before dying and vice versa. At least the BLUs were seeming to have the same amount of trouble as we were.  
I was crouched behind a few crates with my pistol in hand, my grasp on it was tight even if I could feel the sweat hindering it. I had gotten so far as cross the bridge to the outside of the BLUs base before having a Heavy find me, him across and outside the RED base.  
Bullets still occasionally rained from above, but I was safe as long as I stayed hidden.  
That being said, once the bullets stopped, I popped up and aimed my pistol at the Heavy on the opposite team. I fired a few shots, hoping they hit before ducking back to the crates. Bullets started railing the crates and building behind me again small splinters of wood flinging around from the bullets. I waited until he stopped once more, making sure not to move too much.  
When he did, I sprung up, aiming and firing at the Heavy until I saw the Heavy now had a Medic with him. Great. I couldn’t even get a shot in before Heavy started to fire again, forcing me to crouch down. I cursed under my breath and glanced around best I could. Where the hell was my team? Getting the intelligence hopefully.

It didn’t take long for the Heavy to become distracted from me, I could hear screaming and guns firing in his direction from somewhere else. I took that opportunity to make a dash for the inside of the BLU base. I took a quick look over my shoulder before grinding to a halt in front of Sniper.  
His back was pressed around the corner and he was holding his rifle. A hand flew to my chest and I panted, leaning on the wall beside him. He looked quite disheveled, his breathing was uneven, and he was distracted by something around the corner. I guess he didn’t notice me before because only now did he turn his head, jolting away upon seeing me. I stared at him and laughed, most it it being just exhaling from me being out of breath.

“I guess it’s becoming a bad habit, me scaring you huh?” I said quietly, looking around, my gaze landing back to him. His eyebrows knitted and he let out a small unconvincing laugh, peaking around the corner a bit and glancing back at me occasionally. 

“Need help with anything? You look stressed,” I said, reaching my arm out to touch his shoulder, but he looked at me and flinched in the opposite direction.  
I narrowed my eyes and he cleared his throat. I almost thought it was funny how most of everyone was acting like I was going to turn them to stone if I laid a finger on them. Sniper was acting weird. _Too weird._  
I was about to speak, but a BLU Scout rounded the corner from the inside of the base and I immediately went to aim, but took a double take at Sniper who was just staring at Scout, his grip tightening on his rifle. I furrowed my eyebrows and took hold of Sniper’s arm, dragging him in front of me. Sniper barely had time to react before Scout unloaded a few rounds right into Sniper's chest. I squeezed my eyes shut as Smoke filled my nose and I couldn’t help but cough. I tried to ignore the screams, but its difficult when you‘re the cause of them.  
I heard Scout curse and take out his bat, starting to run over to me and the now dying BLU Spy in my arms. I threw him aside and he groaned, clutching as many places as he could where he was shot with Scout’s scattergun

__

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I barely had time to aim before I shot, a bullet hitting his shoulder, making him fall to the ground. I whimpered internally, wishing I had just got a clear shot to his head. I walked over to him and aimed between his eyes as he tried to scramble away and reach for his bat.  
I pulled the trigger before he could.  
I heard a groan to my left, and remembered the Spy was still alive. I walked over to him and put a hand on my hip. 

__

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“Nice acting buddy, you really sold it to me, I think I almost shed a tear,” I said, my voice dripping with sarcasm. He told me to go to hell and I sighed, aiming for his head. I clenched my jaw and found myself gripping my pistol harder than usual. Spy was too distracted by his wounds to notice the trouble I was having, hunched over and hands trying to cover the bullet holes in his front. I shook my head, furrowing my eyes in anger at myself. I took a quick breath and grabbed the pistol with both my hands. I guess Spy started to notice how long I was taking because he looked over to me. I saw he was going to speak, but I made a sound that cut him off before he could.

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“Don’t.” I said softly after, not even in anger, I was almost begging him. He looked at me with pure confusion before I groaned. I was hoping to muster the strength to look at him as I pulled the trigger, seeming as I had trouble watching him die recently, but I couldn’t fucking do it, and I was wasting time.  
I looked away before I shot. 

__

____

__

After that, I rounded a few corners of the BLU base, testing my luck by seeing how far I could make to their Intel on my own. It was risky, but I might as well try. I jogged through a few halls, and I passed one hallway that caught my eye. I stopped running and backtracked a few steps only to see a pair of legs sticking out from a few crates and boxes. I narrowed my eyes and my breath caught in my throat when I saw that that person was wearing a suit. 

__

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A red suit. 

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I covered my mouth and froze for a moment. It was always so surreal when I saw a dead friend on the battlefield. I was about to continue walking, grateful that the rest of his body was obstructed before I heard shuffling and a soft groan.  
My blood ran cold as my head snapped back to Spy, his legs were shifting slightly.  
I almost dropped my gun as I sprinted to him, dropping to my knees beside him. His eyes were half closed, and I could barely tell he was breathing. His suit was stained with dark red from a shot in his stomach. I went rigid, my eyes wide and I suddenly felt nauseous. His mask was slightly crooked, and I saw he had no weapons on him.  
I said his name, my voice shakier than intended. I saw him try to speak, but he winced and clutched the hole in his abdomen. 

__

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“Spy! Jesus Christ! How long have you been here?!” I asked, raising my voice in panic before glancing around and lowering it again. He coughed and I had to grip my jeans to stop my hands from shaking so much. 

__

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“I haven’t been here long, Honestly I was... I was just waiting to bleed out so I could respawn. I can barely move, _mon ami,_ ” He said, a tiredness in his voice I hadn’t heard before. 

__

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__

“Go, you still have a chance to get their intelligence...” He said, his eyelids fluttering closed for a moment before opening again. My eyes widened almost in disgust. 

__

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“What the—? I-I am not leaving you here, idiot! I’m going to help you,” I said, standing up to go find some med kits before almost being shot between the eyes. I ducked back down next to Spy as fast as I could. My breathing started to pick up as I readied my pistol in my hands. I peaked out just a bit and shot a few rounds. Even if I missed all of them, I managed to see who was shooting me at least. It was a BLU Sniper, and he was acting cocky, his sub machine gun out. He started walking to where we where and panic shot through me. I blindly shot in his direction, my mind a haze from Spy laying half dead to my left. Sniper stopped walking immediately and went behind a corner. That’s it, and stay there.  
I returned to the position I was in before and I was breathing quite heavily now. I felt a hand on my leg and I looked over to Spy frantically, trying to think of anything to do in this moment. 

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“You... _ah_.. shouldn’t be this worried.. This happens all the time,” He said, attempting to sit up on his elbows to face me better. 

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“What the fuck do you mean? My friend is bleeding out next to me, of course in going to be worried, Spy!” I said, unintentionally raising my voice again. 

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“You are trapped here,” he said, taking a few breaths before continuing. “If you let me respawn I can come back and—“ 

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I cut him off by flinging myself at him in a hug, my face pushed as far as I could into neck. He let out a quite grunt in surprise, but I soon felt his arms making his way around me, returning the hug. I bit my lip as hard as I could as to stop myself from crying, even if I could feel the hot tears daring to fall. I clutched his suit with such desperation that it scared me. He was right about one thing, however, I shouldn’t be this worried. So why was I?

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> muahahaha! a cliff hanger?! yes yes,, a cliff hanger! see u guys next chapter ;)


	5. Blood and Cigarettes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> bitch finally updates 
> 
> this isnt a chapter summary i just felt like saying that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HOOOOLYYY SHITTTTT😐😐😐 im so fucking sorry agGAAAAHAHAH how long has it been?!?!? bruh i stg i 😐💀💀💀💀 im so soryrryry AAHAHA idk i said i wasnt good at updating but enjoy dis 😉😉 😐
> 
> plus ive legit switched from simping from spy to medic to nox from james lee to jfk from clone high then to scoutANYWAY i still managed to write this 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😎 😐
> 
> HI REAGAN!!!!!!!! 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺 🥺V ily ily ily ily mwah,jhwamhwamhawmahwamhawmah
> 
> also the reason i did this super dramatic shit really early is cuz i canread my own mind. i predicted i was gon be a lazy fuck and not update it frequently so i hopped right to the juicy shit 
> 
> OHG MY GOS i just l,.,.. YOU HAVE TO ADD THE FUCKING DATE!?!?!?! OF THE CHpATER WAS REALASED WHAT!?!?!?! i didnt know that I THOUGHT IT TIDID IT AUTOAMTICALLYNDJFHBK IM SOS STUPUD
> 
> IM EDITITNG THIS AGAIN BECAUSE I FIXED ALL THE DATES!!!! i write all my fanfiction in my notes app on my iphone6 so i just went back to see the las time i edited it 😏 😏 😏 😏 😏 😏 ALSO WTF 3 MONTHS LATER I POP IN HERE LIKE eyyyyyyyyyEYYYYY ALSO ON THE 17TH?!?!? DAME DAY THE FIRST CHAPTER OF THIS WAS POSTED I 🤯🤯🤯🥵 🥶 😱🥵 🥶 😱🥵 🥶 😱🤧 😷 🤒 🤕🤧 😷 🤒 🤕🤧 😷 🤒 🤕🤧 😷 🤒 🤕

Why all of a sudden was I so scared to lose him? He would go right back into respawn, completely unharmed. Why was I letting my emotions get the better of me? Get the better of this situation? This horrible, horrible situation? 

Seeing friends near death is a normal part of this job, and I thought I had gotten used to it.  
I thought I had gotten used to killing them, their scarlet blood splattering my face, their screams filling my ears, them laying dead at my feet.  
Their eyes unmoving, yet they stare at me.  
But no, the thing I couldn’t take was a friend losing his life beside me when all I had to do was aim and pull the trigger to make it stop.

_I thought I had gotten used to this._

Obviously not.

As I clung to Spy, no doubt creating creases and wrinkles in his suit, I felt him tap on my shoulder. It didn’t even feel like a tap, the touch was so light, but I understood he wanted me to look at him.  
I pulled away from the awkward sideways hug, wiping my eyes before any tears could fall, not like it wasn’t totally obviously I was about to cry anyway. He seemed extremely worried, the small trace of crow’s feet near his eyes making themselves more prominent. I thought I saw a flicker of frustration in his expression, but I looked away before I could find out if it was my imagination or not.

“Sorry. I’m just— I just don’t like seeing you like this,” I said, grabbing my wrist that held my pistol to stop it from shaking so much. I didn’t want to look at him, however I couldn’t pry my gaze away, either. I movement in my peripheral, him shaking his head. 

“Don’t apologize, I think I would be... More concerned if you were taking this well,” So... I wasn’t taking this well?  
Dumb question. Of course I wasn’t. I was shaking, for fuck’s sake. I looked back at him, growing bored of staring at the floor next to him.  
Spy’s expression softened to a smile while my heart was still hammering in my chest. How the hell was he smiling in a state like this?  
His hand slid down from my shoulder to my forearm, I don’t know if it was because he was exhausted from blood loss or he was trying to get my attention again. I took a shaky breath and lifted my free arm to rest on his wrist. I didn't know if it was to try and comfort him or myself.

“Spy I’m—“ My voice was trembling much more than I wanted it to. I closed my eyes and tried to calm myself before continuing.  
“I don’t think I can send you through respawn.”  
My eyes opened, flickering around to look anywhere but at him. I heard Spy cough softly and shift around a bit. 

“I know this is difficult...” His voice was growing quieter, I almost leaned in to hear him a bit better. I could tell it was getting harder for him to speak. “But like I said... If you don’t—“ He groaned, curling in on himself a bit, making my eyes water more.  
“...If you don’t, we’ll both die,” He finished, eyes drifting towards the ceiling before closing for a moment.

“You _are_ making this more difficult than it needs to be,” He added, attempting to chuckle before coughing and clutching his stomach, making me cringe.  
He was right, however. I was making this much, _much_ more difficult than it needed to be.

I blinked away my tears and shook my head, opening my mouth to speak before being cut off by more bullets targeting the wood behind us. I flinched, grip tightening on my pistol. I could feel that my hand was slick against my gun, and I wondered if it was blood, sweat, or both.  
The tip of my pistol poked out from behind the crate, followed by me retaliating with a few stray shots. It would take a miracle to concentrate right now with Spy’s life draining by the second next to me. 

And its my fault.  
I can’t fire a bullet to help him. To **help** him!

All I can do is sit here as his blood pools around the both of us.

I returned to my previous position beside Spy, swallowing hard. I looked back over to him and I could see the colour draining from his face. His name left my lips and he didn’t move, but I could still see his chest rising and falling.  
I bit my lip to stop it from quivering. Seeing Spy like this, laying drenched in his own blood, the wound making the redness on his suit almost look black from the amount, it was too much for me.  
I tried to say his name again, but nothing came out. It was like a ghost had stolen the words from my mouth. I shuffled closer to him and put a hand on his shoulder, my head hanging close to his.

No. I wasn’t going to let him suffer like this. I can fire a bullet. 

_I can fire a fucking bullet._

My eyebrows knitted together, a new feeling of self confidence bubbling in my chest that I knew was going to wear out fast if I didn’t act quickly. Spy managed to open his eyes, and I brought the pistol softly to his temple. Fuck fuck fuck. I couldn’t bare to look at him. I clenched my eyes shut, pressing my forehead to his.

“You’ll come back... Right?” I whispered, tears beginning to make their way past my closed eyelids. Another idiotic question, but I needed the comfort if I was going to do this for him.

“Of course,” His voice was quieter than ever. If my head wasn't so close to his, I wouldn't've heard a thing.  
I took a breath, lifted my head, and pulled the trigger with my eyes still clenched shut.

I had to try my hardest not to let a sob escape me, my free hand clasping over my frown. I felt his body go limp, dead in my arms.  
I took a breath, then two, then three before I opened my eyes again. It took me a moment to remember where I was, but my breaths that I had counted soon doubled in numbers.  
I sat like that, attempting to compose myself. My mind was a blur.

I killed him. I _killed him!_

It was a mercy kill. Stop being a child. This is a war zone. He is coming back. **This is what you signed up for.**

Footsteps, I heard footsteps. 

The Sniper was coming.

My frantic eyes scanned my surroundings, trying to think of something, anything to do in this moment to stop me from getting sent through respawn myself.  
I scurried to edge of the crate, my pistol still clenched tightly in my hand. I held it close to my face, almost too close that I could still smell the smoke that came from the previous shot. Only then did I notice how badly I was actually shaking. This reaction to death was definitely surprising. It was new, maybe my mind just had enough and snapped. Maybe I’m going insane. The possibilities are endless.

I almost held my breath once I heard the footsteps come extremely close. My instinct was to pop out and fire, but I stopped myself. I wanted him to come even closer.  
I heard him stop just short of the box, and I took a shaky breath as I charged out from behind the crate, making sure to stay low before tackling the unsuspecting Sniper. He choked out a cuss before hitting the ground, I surely knocked the wind out of him. I partly blamed the man I tackled for Spy’s.. _Difficult_ death. I could have saved him if the Sniper weren’t there.

We tussled for a moment, and my knee had come in contact with his stomach, giving me a moment to scramble on top of him. The grip on my pistol was almost painful and I tried a few times to shoot, but he had quickly taken hold of my wrist while my other struggled against his.

I wasn’t stronger than him, but he was still a bit stunned. I fought with all my strength against him, but it was no use. I could feel his weight start to shift already. I was losing control.  
My eyebrows were knitted together, and the both of us were panting from the frantic struggling.

I couldn’t let myself get sent through respawn, Spy would have died like that for nothing if it did.

My free hand managed to wiggle from his grasp, almost surprising him. I didn’t waste time, and I clamped my free around his throat as quickly as I could. He let out a sound, trying to grab anything he could reach.  
I glanced at my pistol, losing concentration for a moment before his hand found the collar of my shirt, pushing and pulling me, making my hand slip on his throat. I grunted, fighting to keep my weight on top of him. I knew that if the roles became reversed, I would not have the strength to fight back.

Everything was going a mile a minute in my head, and I thought I was going to have a coronary from how intensely my heart was pounding.

In a split-second decision, I tossed my pistol to the ground far enough neither of us could reach it. The sudden absence of the weapon allowed my hand to slip out of his, and I threw it around his neck shortly after. Readjusting my position with a wild and determined look on my face, I continued to squeeze. To try and keep as much distance between me and the suffocating Sniper beneath me, I arched my back as much as I could so he couldn’t grab my collar again, although he was trying to pry my hands off his throat instead, but to no avail.  
drenaline I could feel my hands burning, but I knew it was going to hurt even more later.  
If me shooting Spy in the skull wasn’t getting my adrenaline going, this sure was. 

I concentrated on keeping my grip on him, my hands aching a bit in protest. Through the adrenaline I could feel my hands burning, but I knew it was going to hurt even more later. I stared him down, my expression nothing short of rage. It was his fault. 

If knew if I weren't so inflamed, I would be scared of myself right now.

The Sniper's legs thrashed around behind me, but I didn’t let my concentration slip this time. His eyes were almost popping out of his skull, face unnaturally purple. My nostrils were flared as I held my grip— It was much harder from the sweat, but I couldn’t take any risks.  
I squeezed and I squeezed, it was fucking tiring as hell. The adrenaline was at least numbing the pain in my hands that I was no doubt going to feel afterwards.

His legs started to slow down behind me, and I could tell he was starting to lose the battle. His arms fell from his neck, he was weak.  
With the last bit of strength I had, I squeezed of both of my hands as hard as I could to try and seal the deal. He made a gurgle of sorts, and I kept tightening my grip with all my might.

When he finally stopped struggling, my breathing didn’t slow, but when I was sure the Sniper wasn’t going to rise from the dead, I slumped down off him and onto my side, exhausted. I didn’t stay there for long, however. 

I heard voices down the hall and that made me scramble to my feet, grabbing my pistol off the floor in the process.  
My back hit the wall next to the entrance, and I tried to calm my rapid breathing.  
The voices came closer and I was absolutely clueless as to what I would do. There was no way in hell I could take whoever was down there.

It was an Engineer, and a Soldier. Their footsteps could now be heard as they talked, Soldier’s voice significantly louder than Engineer’s. I prayed they wouldn’t come in here, but I heard the Engineer exclaim, footsteps picking up the pace in the direction of the room I was in. He saw the body, shit.

Suddenly a hand over my mouth, and I had to resist the urge to scream. My eyes were wide, but I saw no one in front of me. My breathing picked up again. 

“ _Ne parlez pas;_ Don’t speak,”

Thank god.

It was a whisper, and I probably wouldn’t have heard it if he weren’t so close to me.  
He fiddled with my wrist, and my impulse was to look, but I was too distracted. I trusted him.

After he stopped and put my wrist down, I swallowed hard, grabbing his hand that covered my mouth with the intention to move it.  
I sure was glad Spy was back, but that when I noticed... My hand? I had lifted it-- Why wasn’t it there?  
I risked a glance down once my mouth was uncovered, and I couldn’t see anything. No feet, torso, nothing.  
It clicked in my head instantly, he had made me invisible, however I was definitely confused as to _how._

“What in the—? Goddamn it.”

I flinched, my nerves getting to me. I hadn’t noticed when The Engineer walked into the room, kneeling at Sniper’s body. The BLU wasn’t far from us, and that made me anxious. One bump of Spy’s leg and if would be over.  
I guess Spy could read minds, because I felt him shuffle closer, his chest soon pressed against mine. 

Now my heart was racing for a different reason.  
At this point I would be staring right at his sternum, and I felt the grip on my pistol slack. 

The BLU Soldier had showed up now, and the two of them talked about who could have been here. I kept my eyes ahead, almost happy I was invisible so Spy couldn’t see how red my face had gotten. I could hear him breathing.

Sometime passed, and we stayed like that until the BLUs decided to move on.  
I heard their fading footsteps, but still couldn’t get my mind off everything that just happened. 

I strained my ears until I could no longer hear anything but both of our breaths, and just in time Spy stepped away from me while de-cloaking.  
He had a distressed look on his face, and spared at glance at the entrance just to make sure. I didn’t move. I was still absolutely baffled.

“Are you hurt?” 

“No, I’m fine,” I glanced at the entrance as well. “Spy, how did you—?” 

He cut me off, lifting his hand to grab mine softly.  
There was my heart rate picking up again. He reached around and unclasped something, I watched curiously.  
Spy took off an Invis watch from my arm and stuffed it into his suit pocket. My jaw slacked a bit as my body faded in from thin air.

I stared up at him for a moment, letting my emotions get the better of me and throwing my arms around his neck in a tight hug. I was very happy he was here.  
The man let out a surprised grunt, stumbling once in shock before laughing airily, patting the small of my back. I thought for a second if it was a bad idea to hug him, since how strange he was acting this morning. However, he didn’t seem to mind in this circumstance.

“Clingy today, aren’t we?” He teased, making me furrow my eyebrows in the hug. He wasn’t wrong.

“Oh, shut up, I’m just glad you’re back you asshole,” I said with a smirk, pulling away and standing in front of him. He only let out a chuckle, getting the response from me he wanted.

“Nice going, though. I guess it was worth it— Me shooting you in the brain,”  
Spy rolled his eyes.

“Don’t act like you weren’t a total mess the entire time. I thought you have gotten used to death on the battlefield by now?”

I laughed quietly.  
“I was asking myself the same thing.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO HAPPY I STARTED THIS FANFIC CUZ I WOULD HAVE NEVER MET REAGANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻😻
> 
> also this is how much of a simp i was i didnt even make a class its legit just some random bitch swooning over frenchguy 🥶🥶🥶🥶


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